How much more loved do I feel when someone gives me a gift that cost them effort, time or thought than something that was of no consequence to them. And what do people value more than anything in the world? Time. We all want more of it. We resent others who take too much of our time, or waste our time. We value people who make time for us, to listen, attend to or desire time with us. So, if I am made in Gods image, why would he desire anything less?
I don’t believe God is selfish for asking this of us. It is an exercise in trust, building of faith and a huge display of love for our Father. God who holds time in His hands is asking for my time. Time spent in His presence, fully focused on His will and His love.
Over the last year and a half I have gone to the Word in desperation, looking for comfort, healing, guidance, wisdom and truth. It has been almost as if I couldn’t breathe with out it. But somewhere along the lines, maybe 3 or 4 months ago, I noticed a decline in my urgency. And in it’s place, a desire for sleep like I have never had before (unless you count those months with newborns). I had moved from desperate to contentedness or even perhaps, laziness.
My depression deepened, my fears ran rampant, my insecurities thrived. Oh Jesus, I was drowning again! What short memories we have as humans, what stupidity and arrogance! To think that I could wage war against evil without my daily saturation in the truth! How can we stand and face lies when we don’t remind ourselves of the truth of who we are, who He is, every day?
Time with God requires sacrifice of other things, like sleep. But my mornings with Jesus and my coffee are sacred. My children know that when they wake they can find me with my Bible or journal in hand because it is what sustains me. It is not about doing the “right” christian thing, or one more thing I get to check of my “to do” list-oh man do I love checking things off my list though! No, this is about so much more. I cannot be a warrior for Christ, a warrior for my children, if I am not armed.
We are called to be men and women of the truth, people who love others enough to put all else aside and dedicate time to pray for them. To be on our knees on their behalf. And because we have a loving and gracious God, he uses that time that we dedicate to Him, to bless US! How undeserving we truly are.
And my prayer for you, my readers, is to pray for urgency in your heart. Pray for a deeper desire for the knowledge of His will. Pray for your eyes to see and your ears to hear the truth that he is proclaiming. Don’t be blind to your own sin, don’t let your life slip by without taking a stand. Wonderful things happen when you surrender yourself to the one who holds all things together.
Give God your firsts, first moments of the day, first fruits of your labor, first place in your lives.