I didn’t run away from my husband, I ran towards Christ. Those words have had to replay in my mind over and over. My prison guard would have me believe that I abandoned him, that I was selfish, entitled, arrogant and destructive to leave him. But that is not the truth. This guard was standing in the way of my calling, and my savior. He put himself in the place of God in our home. He ridiculed and mocked our 6 year old son for standing up for Christ in his school and declaring his love for God, this guard who also served for years as an Elder in our church. There was no room for God or the Holy Spirit in that place. It was already filled with a heavy darkness, a bully and an abuser. God had to wait outside.
I have ears to hear now. I have eyes to see. Christ was calling me, to come out of the prison, to be free. He was calling me because he loves me and has a purpose for me and for my children. Now God lives inside of our home. He is big and he takes up all the spaces. My children worship and love him loudly. We cry and pray together. We speak against the lies that try to ensnare us. We fill our home with music that praises our Savior and let other people into our messy space.
I know my call now. I know the one who is calling me, I know His voice. I will not be silent any longer. I am finding my voice, even if it still shakes and squeaks sometimes, it is growing stronger. This is not just my story, it is the story of so many women who are suffering in silence. In their prisons, too afraid to move. And I will use my voice to lift up and encourage those prisoners.
Let me encourage you ladies, you have a voice and it matters! You have a calling and a Savior. Get to know His voice, in the midst of the storm, He will keep you steady.